It is! There are times throughout life when you just feel as if a rebirth of your soul has occured; when everything you've ever learned is brand new and fresh, and you suddenly learn new things as well, that make you feel awake, and amazed, and different.
That happened to me yesterday evening. I took a walk. But it wasn't just the walk -- life has a way of saving back, one by one, hidden under the surface of every day life, a great many factors that all come out at some significant time and together bring about some impact.
I have a lot of things to update on... I don't know where to start. First, I suppose, that I have cancelled my application with that company that I was trying to test for. Their program just wouldn't work with my computer, and rather than waste my time trying to fix it (which I didn't have the slightest idea how to do, and was not getting much help from their IT people,) I realized that, by some miracle, I am still on schedule to graduate at the end of June. Completely! So I am going to skip the job idea and continue to do full-time (4) hours of school each day.
I thought of something else, too. It seems that, one way or another, we
are moving back to Pennsylvania around the first week of July. And I will be getting my driver's license. And then I will have graduated to be an MT... when I actually won't be restricted to just a work-at-home job anymore! In fact, I am looking forward to getting other kinds of jobs at one time or another, sooner rather than later, just for the
experience, and the pleasure of working in places I've always enjoyed frequenting. I want to meet people. It would all be so new.
Anywho, no matter what I end up doing, I will start out with a medical transcription job for the first several months, and I will always keep it as a supplemental income. (Wouldn't want to lose the hang of the skill by not working for a while!) The good thing is that, as an MT, and particulary as an IC (independent contractor,) you can work as little as you please; a few days a week, a few hours a day.
I also know that this course has been a good thing for me to take in innumerable ways. First, it kept me sane -- gave me something to keep working at and looking forward to -- through winter, and Mommy being pregnant again. Second, it streeeetched my brain emphatically. It was a challenge and it is also an accomplishment. Third, it introduced me to a professional and formal level of communication that I hadn't dealt with yet, and I found that I could take it in stride. Contracts, the medical world, networking with other MTs. Finally, I like transcription itself. Peoples' voices are so unique; and it's the best when, in the middle of a dull dictation, a trip of the tongue makes the doctor laugh. It makes you smile through the rest of the report. :) Of course, not all the reports are dull -- particularly in Psychiatry! o_0
When I came back from that walk yesterday, (it had been nearly sundown, and the air wasn't too cool, and I went to the beaver pond alone -- along with Joey's dog, Duchess, that is, who follows you wherever you go -- and it was quiet, and beautiful, and had the feeling like anything-can-happen,) well, when I came back, I had a story in my head. I hadn't for a while, but I did then. And I started writing it lastnight.
I also got a phone call, about an E-mail I had sent to someone that morning regarding their request for essay writers. I was doing the dishes, so Mommy asked him to call back this morning around 10:00. I was nervous this morning. (Phone calls, you know; yet I never fail to feel at ease once I finally start talking, so it's quite silly!) The project is one of writing short educational essays for 3rd-5th graders, with a few questions and answers at the end. I have seen samples of what they are looking for, and not only is it something I enjoy doing, it's very simple! He asked me to choose two topics to write on as a sample of my work. I've E-mailed him asking if the Carlsbad Caverns and Charles Lindbergh are good topics, and am waiting for his reply. I suppose if he likes what I write, then I get to join the project; it is mostly being worked on by college students, I think, including one girl in her Junior year who is studying in
Rome. Impressive.
So I am very excited about that, and just how everything changes and doors begin to open up and life is after all intrinsically beautiful, even if for a while, for one reason or another, or several reasons, it doesn't seem to be on the surface.
Tomorrow is shopping day and Mommy is craving steak, so it seems we are going to end the day with dinner at the restauraunt. I am not complaining. :D
Back to yesterday evening's walk, though. Its theme seemed to be a quote I've read, "Life is a daring adventure... or nothing." I was standing outside the barnyard, watching the horse and the cows munching their hay, and I wanted to pet them like I used to. But after a long time of not going down there, I've become a real scaredy-cat of them. Animals are
so unpredictable. But I
wanted to pet them, and I wasn't feeling particularly nervous, just wary. That's the first time it dawned on me. "Life is a daring adventure -- or nothing." Even small things can be daring adventures, as
songofsummer pointed out, who has that quote in one of her icons. :) I went in and I fed Star a couple handfuls of sweet feed, and I pet the calf. And I was glad I did.
Then I walked on Sunflower Drive. I came to the path that leads to the beaver pond, and I debated for a while. It was evening, and even at high noon I don't always like venturing off into the woods by myself. It seems to be the domain of the wild creatures who live there, and whatever else, when you are out of sight of the houses, and surrounded by the trees. But then, like a flash, I thought of it again. "Life is a daring adventure... or nothing." Why did I always restrict myself? Why am I so afraid of risks? Why is that half the things I want to do, I don't do? (Don't worry -- I don't
want to do bad things.) So I went for that walk. And it was refreshing, and lovely, and exciting in that I was the whole while applying this new philosophy to all of life.
I've often thought that I have learned as much and had as many of life's breakthroughs in my rather uneventful and sheltered life than anyone else has ever had who lives on a daily basis intermingling with a busy world. What another may have learned in a big way, I have learned in a small way. But it is the same lesson, and we have both really learned it.
I came back smiling to myself and not caring who saw me smiling to myself. That is one thing that has always irked me. For as long as I can remember, being outdoors on a beautiful day makes me feel like laughing out loud. I can't keep the grin off my face, and then I feel imbecilic, should anyone see me. Once, in our town house back in PA, with its backyard flanked by neighbors, I had gone out to swing (my favorite pastime) and it was so nice that the laughter came bubbling up again. Funny how the windows of neighbors' houses seem to stare. At last I ran inside lest anyone witness my crazy fit of mirth.
Mommy told me last month, when I mentioned this quirk of mine, that I shouldn't worry. A smile is always a good thing to see. So I was smiling broadly when I came back from my walk, and I was smiling broadly this afternoon. It feels so free.
I feel so free. And it's not as if I haven't felt free before. But just like the thought I began this entry with, life is just a series of re-learning and re-births and growing. It makes you wonder with amazement what person you will be in ten years from now, and it is gratifying to know that you and God can see to it that you are a
better person. It's not just chance.